LOSING SIGHT OF YOU

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I was 25, sort of a man and still a boy when you came into my life. What a great friendship we seemed to share, but as time went by, I began to put you way above myself, somehow not able to please you anymore.

I woke up one morning and you were gone! I wondered what I had done and began looking for you everywhere.

I thought I had found you once, in somebody else’s life. They said they knew you and knew where to find you, so I followed the directions they gave me....but, you weren’t there!

Rumor had it that you were attending a certain church, so I went the following Sunday. Everyone I asked said they knew you and that you did attend that particular place of worship. I must have shown up a month of Sundays, to find you nowhere in sight.

I thought I’d never see you again. Then one day I found your diary on a table. I began to read it, and was amazed as to how much you loved me. You seemed to know me better than I knew my own self. Still, I couldn’t understand why you were gone.

I began hanging out with those who kept in daily contact with you, and they said that your coming back into my life was conditional, that if I did all the right things, you’d get word and come home. So I started doing all the right things.......I guess no one told you.

I began to live without you, and sometimes even forgot you. But one day I became overwhelmed with bitterness when some of your friends were speaking to one another of the intimacies you’ve spent with them. Remorse fiilled my eyes. I felt the loss go down my throat as I swallowed.

I began running down the street, desperately calling out your name, hoping you’d hear me, and begging you to forgive me for whatever wrong I might have done. I fell to the ground in total brokeness............And then a soft voice replied:

“You’ve lost sight of me because you have quit looking over your shoulder. Instead, you’ve been running, trying to catch up with me, when I’ve been alongside you all this time.”

Forgive me, Lord, for forgetting that you are not only Almighty God Himself, but that you lived, died, and rose as a human being also.

To think of you as some distant, cold, and impersonal god, and not as my friend is truly idolatry in the worst form.

I no longer promise to please you. I want to, but I know I’ll fail.

I can’t understand why you would want these filthy rags of deceit, malice, and envy, but I give them to you, asking that in return you would give to me a joyful heart to share with others, the diligence to constantly repent of things that might cause me to lose sight of you, and if I should.....the faith, to once again, look over my shoulder...

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